Sunday, September 6, 2009

The Forgiveness Process

Note: This entry is adapted from my other NaviMap blog as I needed a quick first blog entry here.

When you truly forgive (box 1) you let go of the bad memories that feed your hurt (box 1a), which was simply kept alive by Box 1c because you remember them, perhaps even nurse them! Time can cause your bad memories (box 1a) to fade but only if you do not indulge it by keep on reminding yourself about them (box 1c).
If you can really forgive (box 1), then you will eventually open yourself to rebuilding and begin to have a new view of the future (box 1f). This will help you to have new memories (box 1g) that will replace the bad old ones (box 1a). Finally you can really "forget".
You see what they say about forgiving and forgetting is not completely correct. It is more like forgiveness paving the way for new pleasant memories (box 1g) to take the place of old bad memories (box 1a). This will help you remember the old hurts differently because new memories replace bad old ones. This then is the true meaning of forgetting after you have learned to forgive.

The virtuous cycle that would make a real difference to you is in box 1f, 1g and 1h. This the loop that restores your emotional health.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Sing Cher,

    Interesting concept about forgetting. Is the same as letting go of the past.
    I read this in Marshall Goldsmith and also in William Bridges. Letting go is probably most difficult to do. We need to "empty" ones bad memories before new memories can come in. Just my thoughts.